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Need help with phrasing for a novel

Discussion in 'Information Requests' started by Jessica H, May 4, 2018.

  1. Jessica H

    Jessica H New Member

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    Hello everyone, I'm an editor working on a novel that takes place in Italy during WWII. I have two questions about phrasing.

    Near the end of the war, one character (an Italian man in the resistance, part a sabotage brigade) crosses from enemy territory into Allied territory to fight in the North. The author used the phrase "pass the front" for this movement, and it just sounded odd to me. I tried "cross the line," but that also sounds rather vague to me.

    1. How do you think I should phrase it? Here's the sentence:

    "In the terrible winter between 1944 and 1945, when we had all gone underground, I managed to pass the front and join the Italian army fighting alongside the Allies on the other side of the Apennines."

    2. Also, is "Italian army" used properly here, considering the year in question?
     
  2. OpanaPointer

    OpanaPointer I Point at Opana Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

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    "cross the front lines" would sound correct, I think.
     
  3. Highway70

    Highway70 Member

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    After Italy's surrender,Mussolini formed the Italian Soloist Republic (RSI) and organized the National Republican Army (ENR) . Italian forces with the Allies were the Italian Co-Belligerent Army, the Italian Co-Belligerent Air Force and the Italian Co-Belligerent Navy. .
     
  4. KodiakBeer

    KodiakBeer Member

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    Here's some great phrases that one could incorporate into any fine novel.

    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

    18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
     
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  5. harolds

    harolds Member

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    Good but one could also use, "infiltrate/sneak/worm my way, across the front lines."
     
  6. OpanaPointer

    OpanaPointer I Point at Opana Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

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    "slip through the lines" Remember that the speaker will have to go through the rear echelons, the secondary lines and the front lines lines, for both sides. That would best be done by not drawing attention to one's self.
     

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