Off to College

I personally never cared much for the frat system. I did rush one frat while I was at State. They didn't elect to select me as a pledge and I'm not sure I would have accepted if they had offered. Of course at the time I didn't drink and wasn't much into partying didn't find much use for fads or appearances either. Sorry it didn't work out for you but IMO you may well be better off without them. Find something else for a outlet would be my suggestion. IM sports or the various clubs are good options from my experiance. I got into the SCA in college and probably devoted too much time to it and related activities but I've still got a lot of friends from that time period.

 

I always think that in your first year, you should be 'finding your feet' and not commit yourself to any one group. You will find the type of people that you WANT to hang out with instead of restricting your circle. Sorry that you were upset but do not for one minute think that you have failed. You may have had a lucky escape and it is their loss. Onwards and upwards !

 

I never went for the ''initiation'' prank stuff....they even tried to woo me in one frat by using a female pretending to ''like'' me...and we all know not too many people are that desperate!
as Toki says, I'll add, be wary of your friends, and choose your best friends wisely

 

You're brave for trying it out in the first place. Braver than I was in college. Bad news, yes, but you will gain from it and you will look back on it as a positive experience that ends up making you stronger as a person in the long run.

 

Sure it was a female?

 

Being rejected, especially with no apparent reason, never feels good. Don't make any absolute decisions regarding fraternities while it's still fresh. Wait a couple months and then revisit the question. You should know by then whether you are still interested.

Just remember that what your friends and family think of you is infinitely more important than the capricious motives of a bunch a frat boys.

 

You and some of the others who were rejected can go and landscape the yard in from of the house one night. Wait until November or so before applying said enhancements to their curb appeal. That way it will be there all winter since the grass won't be able to grow back until spring.

 

One thing to consider is why did you want to join the fraternity? In many cases when people are in a new situation they want to join a group of some sort as soon as possible. Often they do so without really understanding what the group is like what its aim, orientation, and goals are and whether they fit with those of the individual. The SCA (call it the analog to the college in this case) has sub organizations called households. Most of the better ones have a year trial period now during which one can leave (and possible join another) with no hard feelings. It often takes that long to figure out just what you want from an organization and whether you fit with one. Trying out various clubs, IM sports, and such will give you a better idea of what's available and a chance to meet a lot of other people. You will also have time to find out more about the various fraternities on campus if that's something that still apeals to you. I know many are party oriented but there's at least one that is oriented toward engineering and possibly one or more that are oriented toward history which I beleive is your current interest. Seriously consider the debate club if there is one. The combination of public speaking and being able to develope a rational argument can be valuable no matter what you end up doing (and potentially a lot of fun, although that depends on you and the club). IMO college is the chance to experaince a lot of things personally I would consider it a waste to spend too much time in frat parties (although like I said not all are focused on that).

By the way I will admit to something of a bias vs the Greek system. They often seamed to come off as arogant with little other than memebership in a fraternaty or sorority to support it. There's a good chance that was due to my rather limited experiance with them so it may not be warrented but it's there and has a tendency to affect my comments in a thread like this so take that under consideration as well.

 

I'll chime in. As a fraternity alum and former President of our chapter, there are definitely pros and cons. The immediate pro is the instant connection you can recieve. I was unable to play football anymore and was looking for a good organization. I couldn't help but be bombarded by Greek Week. Imagine car salesmen, perfume counter employees mixed with an undying arrogance. Ruthless. One caught my eye because all they did was cook a few hot dogs, didn't say boo, and were friendly as hell. No ra ra were the best garbage. Didn't hurt some female members were hanging about. I made a few buddies and let it be for a couple semesters. After finding my own way, got my feet wet in the university life, I decided to pledge. Best decision I ever made through my experience.

I guess my point is be patient Smiley.

 

I really appreciate all of your advice and words of kindness. It has been a few slow days lately but I have definitely started to feel better. I still have a bunch of friends and connections that I made in the fraternity that have told me that just because I was dropped from the fraternity doesn't mean that they will drop me as a friend. Also I have been looking into other groups and organizations to get involved with, and with being in college there is certainly a lot of options out there. I really appreciate all the things that you guys have said. Thank you all

Many Cheers :cheers:
Dave

 

Find a group that has a lot of girls in it. Those are the most fun.

 

And a good fraternity house.

 

Who needs a fraternity house, when they now have co-ed dorms...

Granted, when I was in college, the dorms were [cough]co-ed[cough], but you only noticed that during night-time fire drills or in the oh-dark-early when the females would return to their dorms to get ready for class.

 

Ah...the classic "morning parade."

 

How'd that happen?

 

More like the "walk of shame".

 

Smiley. Please do let us know if we sound like your parents (or ahem... in some cases your grandparents ) nipping your ear as we say in Scotland.