The dangers of submarine artic patrols ....

Hush, it's a secret weapon!

 

Tin opener....Its an American CIA experiment...bit like the exploding dolphins....this one..it waits for the Russian sub to dive then gets to work with the teeth..The Kursk was in fact the first time this method was used for real...Of course much propoganda and dissinformation was expanded at the time as neither nation wanted anyone else to know that both their nuclear deterrents could be devestated by basic fish life...The experiment was put on the back burner..but I believe from my contacts in Kuwait that they have resurfaced in the Gulf of Hormuz lately...The problem remains though in the initial identification process...But this is being overcome gradually overtime by getting a listening walruss to tap into the sub conning tower firstly to listen for arabic voices...Once identified..the midget walrus is called in and the tin opening process begun...however at present..the yanks have hit a problem they did not at first forsee...Iranian submariners talk in same dialect as those from Saudi Arabia...this has meant all Saudi submarines have now to sail only round the duck pond in Mecca as no Walruss type animals habit that pond.
America is working frantically on inter language dialect discovery....walruss for the use of...Langley is close to solving the problem I am told...All allied submarines will play we all live in a yellow submarine from now on...and any not playing this will be seen as an enemy and the walruss will act accordingly...The only problem with this is the American and Trident and indeed French nuclear fleets are sailing the ocean playing songs that are it seems easily picked up by Russian satellite...This has caused some consternation in the Pentagon...the known unoknowns that no one knows about sort of thing...

 

Walrus love should never be taken lightly.

 

Is not that Skipper in disguise ?

 

I don't know about the size, but Skipper is a bit "long in the tooth".

 

" I am the Walrus...goo-goo-ga-joob"

 

The ASW (anti-submarine walrus) was a top secret US Naval Intelligence project started in the late 1980s in response to inter-service jealously over the USAF's "Star Wars" laser program. There have been unconfirmed reports that ASW technology was responsible for the loss of K-219 off of Bermuda in 1986 by destroying the seal on the number six missile tube and causing a uncontrollable explosion. While the program was officially declared a failure and funding was cut in 1995, there have been rumors that the project was picked up by the NSA and continued in secrecy with the task of sabotaging Russian naval activity in the arctic.

The Soviets found out about the ASW program in 1989 via a plant in Naval Intelligence, and immediate started their own abstract anti-submarine warfare program. The first component of this multifaceted strategy was the противолодочных белого медведя program -- also known as ASPB (anti-submarine polar bear) by US Naval circles . Evidence of this technology in action has been captured numerous times by USN submarines operating well above the arctic circle. The ASPB typically makes a run for the steering apparatuses of a surfaced submarine.

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i knew it.. What sort of plant did they use? traiterous kelp probably