Welcome to the WWII Forums! Log in or Sign up to interact with the community.

Totenkopf's Poetry Collection

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Totenkopf, Nov 11, 2008.

  1. Totenkopf

    Totenkopf אוּרִיאֵל

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2007
    Messages:
    1,460
    Likes Received:
    89
    I had come up with those poem 2 years ago when I was trying to create something to relate to a soldiers willingness to sacrifice themselves.

    Name: Dustin King

    Setting: Any battle of any war

    Genre: Historical Romantic fiction


    A Soldiers Legacy

    A wounded Soldier looks down at his gaping chest,
    then he looks up the sky, and realizes that it is beautiful
    He thinks about his wife, whose smile he will never see again
    His Unborn child who will never know its Father
    But he realizes that dieing is even worth it,
    to give them a world of peace
     
  2. Falcon Jun

    Falcon Jun Ace

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,281
    Likes Received:
    84
    Children free from their parents' wars is always a noble sentiment.
     
  3. Totenkopf

    Totenkopf אוּרִיאֵל

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2007
    Messages:
    1,460
    Likes Received:
    89
    What did you think of it though?
     
  4. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2002
    Messages:
    9,683
    Likes Received:
    953
    Dont take this the wrong way Totenkopf, but I have a personal problem with poetry that romances in any way warfare. Its a personal thing not shared by others I know.
    The poem itself is fine. In the vein of many before it.

    I just dont think in reality any soldier in that position would have those thoughts, and as such in my own selfish view don't think its realistic.

    But what do I know...I had same thoughts on most of the famous ww1 poets.

    Regards
     
  5. Aviation History

    Aviation History Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    mmmmmmm im not quite sure about that poem but i have one i thought id post.

    And when he gets to heaven,
    To St Peter he would tell,
    Another soldier reporting sir-
    I've served mt time in hell.
     
  6. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2002
    Messages:
    9,683
    Likes Received:
    953
    Now that one I have no problem with.
     
  7. Owen

    Owen O

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    2,392
    Likes Received:
    510
    Is that the only one you know?
    You posted it on this thread too!
    http://www.ww2f.com/poetry/27990-skywards.html
     
  8. von Poop

    von Poop Waspish WW2|ORG Editor

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2006
    Messages:
    5,896
    Likes Received:
    1,532
    Location:
    Perfidious Albion
    You are not alone...

    While I quite like a lot of the Owen, Sassoon etc. as poetry, and a lot of it expresses well-worded anti-war sentiments; I also believe it's helped distort popular perceptions of the First War with the viewpoint of effete middle/upper-class intellectuals to the exlusion of most other perspectives.
    There's something of a 'silent majority' contemporary view of that war that's been masked by those chaps and their fame.

    Cheers,
    Adam.
     
    rkline56 likes this.
  9. Owen

    Owen O

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    2,392
    Likes Received:
    510
    I don't believe ANY soldier is 'willing'....far from it in fact.

    I shall rewrite the last line for you.

    A wounded Soldier looks down at his gaping chest,
    then he looks up the sky, and realizes that it is beautiful

    He thinks about his wife, whose smile he will never see again
    His Unborn child who will never know its Father
    And thinks...Oh F*ck I don't want to die!
     
  10. Firefoxy

    Firefoxy Dishonorably Discharged

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    3
    You're poem gives me chills down my spine!
     
  11. redfan45

    redfan45 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    1
    good peom i think
     
  12. luketdrifter

    luketdrifter Ace

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2009
    Messages:
    2,349
    Likes Received:
    303
    And I think, that instead of taking someones personal writing, and editing it...you should stick to commenting on it. I liked the poem, the message, and I don't believe that you have a single right to edit it. You didn't write it.
     
    Totenkopf likes this.
  13. Totenkopf

    Totenkopf אוּרִיאֵל

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2007
    Messages:
    1,460
    Likes Received:
    89
    The Greatest Gift

    It was a cold and sad Christmas eve
    Wishing we could be with the Family for one day of leave
    I sat at my post with my gun ready
    When a German appeared with his rifle held steady
    When we looked at each other we realized we had no fight
    With a wink and a smile he ran off into the night
     
  14. Totenkopf

    Totenkopf אוּרִיאֵל

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2007
    Messages:
    1,460
    Likes Received:
    89
    I rewrote the poem this year, and I like this version much better.

    A Soldier's Legacy


    A wounded Soldier looks down at his gaping chest,
    Then up at the sky
    He realizes it is beautiful

    He longs for his family and his life back home,
    and tears flow from his eyes.

    Though through the pain he decides,
    It is alright if he dies.

    For he knows the sight before him,
    will one day be the world.

    Calm, quiet and empty of man's hate

    Able to relax, he closes his eyes
    and they remain forever shut.
     

Share This Page