Trouble standing by your New Years resolutions ?

The solution is of course to make resolutions you can live with. Here´s a few suggestions taken from a Norwegian comic book ( I didn´t translate all of them, as some of them were a bit too local ) :

1. Gain weight. At least 8 pounds.

2. Occasionally smell like Cheese Doodles ( and not be embarrassed about it ).

3. Surf more on the internet while at work.

4. Not get pregnant ( applies to men only ).

5. Not get infected by rabies from biting off the head of a badger.

6. Have the opinion that Eminem should stop whining about his mother.

7. Not get laid by Angelina Jolie ... too often.

8. Spend more time on the forum ( free translation ).

 

Or how about resolve to not make resolutions...

 

Drink more, smoke more, drive irresponsibly. Will get you into wholly new situations to expand your experience and contacts with the world.

 

The Redneck Resolutions:

• Drink more alcohol
• Drive more in your pick-up truck
• Use your guns more
• Do one through three simultaneously, to save time

 

correction :
the only alcholic beverege the redneck consume is :BEER

 

There, I fixed it for you.

 

That is a contradiction in terms isn't it.