What if you met Hitler?

What would you do? Supposing its just before the war and you're a reporte and are invited to a luncheon at Hitler's Eagle Nest; and he's hosting...what would you do? would you talk about wartime matters, or just small talk. Oh yes, let's say you're on his side. Also in attendance are Goebels, Speer, Himmler, Raeder and Goering.

Any Comments?

I'd start off by trying to convince him to go back to his painting, something more constructive. Then, if that fails, I'd challenge him to a debating game. Who would win?

 

I think I'd have problems with most of the lot. Speer, I might be able to enjoy talking to. Göring, what a pompous wind bag. I remember being at a party some years ago where there was a local moderately important politician present. The guy kept going around to all the guests and shaking hands saying "Hi I'm (whatever his name was) damn glad to meet you!" You knew he was a pretentious windbag when he did this the second or third time (lucky for me I found a bottle of single malt scotch....).
Räder, even as a navy man myself I likely would have had problems with. Everything I've read on him says he was a stuffed shirt on a personal level.
Himmler and Göbbels, half wits with a licesnse to ramble. Neither likely could hold my attention.
As for Hitler, I certainly would have listened to his goings on; particularly the small talk. The vegiteranism he was heavy on would be a problem, but I could work around that.
I would likely end up in a sidebar with Speer since he is the only one of the bunch with more than half a brain. Maybe we would discuss construction and architecural techniques. As for the rest I would follow my addage: Never teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig!
But, a good single malt scotch with a wonderful cigar might salvage the day.....

 

It depends on what I knew of the future. Someone that grew up in that era would be less likely to be shocked by racism and anti-seminism. If I was transported mentally intact to the past, and spoke fluid German, I would probably take a low profile. Most likely, I would just nod politely, make social chitchat, and swear to avoid such people in the future. While the temptation would be there, I would be afraid of doing something minor that would affect events. I would perceive it mostly as a chance to gain information for the archives.

 

So let's say I am on their side (that makes me a bloody nazi) and I know the future.

I would tell him to take it easy on the jews, thus his ideaology would have more supporters in the future.

I would also recommend him to keep good relations with Russia (I know it sounds silly) thus preventing his military force from being annihilated. Then the World would be a tri-polar place.

 

Like nearly everyone who came into contact with him, I'd probably be overawed by Fuhrerkontact and would mumble a few platitudes.

I hear this from many people who meet well-known ( but unpopular ) politicians today - 'In person, he's really very impressive !'

Maybe - but he's still an *ssh*l*.....

 

First opportunity I get, shoot the b*****d.

 

Make him tell where all the gold is, then shoot him!



I think this was in a B class movie of some kind....

 

I had the opportnity to sit at the breakfast nook in the kitchen of a friends father some years ago now with a man who had a very similar opportunity. There was me, my friend, his father, one other interested military historian and Profesor Harold C. Deutsch. He never actually met Hitler, but did interview many of his associates. Professor Deutsch was the chief interrogator at Neurenberg, at least for the Americans.

Yes, he was fluent in the German language, and he had been a teacher of the History of the Great War, and had interviewed many of the top commanders from that war from the German side, and this had a unique way to establish raaport with these now imprisoned officers.

He approached the inmates with respect and as much kindness as was possible while maintaining a professional decorum, something which went against the SOP of the time. The standard was that the interrogator should remain detached, cold, rigid, and unbending as far as the interviews went, such as to provide no comfort for the German officers. Professor Deutsch, on the other hand, shook the hand of all, speak to them with some sympathy, allow them to smoke, et cetera.

I recall his telling carrying messages to Mrs. Jodl, the wife of the General, which thus established a long-term friendship with the woman and their son.

Anyway, back to Adolf... Professor Deutsch recommended a book entitled "Hitler's Table Talks", something which was published within a decade of VE day. The Leader had had secretaries record the conversations around the dinner (lunch) tables which he had with his contemporaries. This book is a condensation of these reports.

The book paints Adolf as a congenial host for the most part, but dominenating the conversation. As has been pointed out his personality was mesmerizing. The man's power of persuasion was legion.

As far as the possibility of assasination, he was paranoid even before the war. Before the war Liebstandard Adolf Hitler was the personal bodyguard of the man, thus it was highly unlikely that anyone culd get so close to him as to off him. Several tried, all failing.

Curiously Professor Deutsch wrote the book on this: "The Conspiracy Against Hitler in the Twilight War"

 

Ups...i press the button to post twice sorry!!

 

I'll seat an eat enjoying the view of Alpen

 

For one, I doubt anyone really would be able to say much and risk it but lets go for broke. I would probably focus on the reason of why be the evil empire with the superior race concept and instead be a true great empire and welcome people from conquered nations such as the Ukranians. This would add a wealth of truly voluntary manpower to fight Stalin. People from the low countries would contribute their scientific and artistic talents to the Reich. This is the picture my grandfather had when he went of to volunteer. He was grossly disappointed but was too late to turn back. He crossed the proverbial rubicon. All this without trying to snicker at Goring's latest lavender uniform with pastel nail polish.

I then would have ended mesmerized by Hitler and volunteered for one of the Iron Man's Pilot guided flying bomb.

 

If I had the chance to meet Hitler, I'd have to ask him what he thought of Chaplin's movie, The Great Dictator. He supposedly watched the movie twice.

 

I would tell him to stick to painting

 

Just to add the second thing I would do is say. "This man is an impostor."


Alright back to the question, I would tell him to marry Eva and retire to the country and make strong German beer.

 

I could hold your coat if you wish.

 

Ah, why thank you sir. Do you think Hanna would keep me warm in the flying contraption?

 

Yes, if you sit on her lap.

 

What an absolutely bizarre suggestion. First, to state that in this "what if" we're on Hitler's side is going to be more than problematic for most of us. Furthermore, if we really are supposed to be on Hitler's side why on earth would we try to convince him to return to painting? If we were really on his side and wanted to do something constructive with our incredible foresight through knowing how the next sixty/seventy odd years were going to go, we'd clue him in that Russia was going to be more problematic than he envisioned. Power corrupts, as they say, and absolute power ... well, you all know how the saying ends. Hitler loved the power of politics and there is no way he would ever just willingly drop his power and return to painting in his dotage.

As for your debating game, I think the best you could hope for would be that Hitler would laugh at your suggestion. He wasn't one much for debating. The facts, for him, were either with him or were wrong. To understand Hitler you have to understand that he valued emotion a lot more than intelligence. He believed that anything could be done with willpower.

I suggest you just enjoy the meal, as vegetarian and unappealing as it may have been, and return to the real world (where you can get a good burger!)

 

I ask him to drop his pants to see if he really did only have one ball.

 

Best suggestion yet I reckon.


I'd ask him If I could have his hat, and perhaps any spare ones he might have lying around, maybe also ask "could you sign it Herr Hitler?, I hear you have beautiful handwiting".

(Just keeping an eye on the future militaria market. )

Cheers,
Adam.