A World War Two Joke

Great pictures KP ! I have never thought of or heard of the portable laundry machine. I hope SW Pacific Vet takes a look !

 

Not quite a joke, but who gave young Georgiy Zhukov that hat?



(It's still in his Czarist times, but still... )


Wow! It could get worse!



Definitely no Hugo Boss designed uniforms here

 

"You find it funny or it's Kholima for you!"

 

Right, where is the real Za Rodinu?

Actually the furazhka in the top pic is rather dashing I think. The Budenovka (apparently named after 'Budeni' the famous cavalry general but I think it comes from the russian slang term for breast) is a silly hat true, but warm and comfortable enough to make up for that.

 

In the 2nd photo it doesn't look like GZ very much, does it?

 

YouTube - The Fast Show S1E6 Part 2

A ww2 joke clip " Valiant breed " from 4.05 forward...

 

"In 1945, [Billy Wilder] returned to Europe, in the uniform of a colonel; he was working for the Psychological Warfare Division, and one of his duties was to view and cut the footage that was coming in from the concentration camps. This was then shown to German audiences.
"He also had to screen performers for the revival of cultural events, a task that came to a head when Anton Lang, who had played the part of Christ in the Passion Play at Oberammergau [concentration camp] before the war, and who had since joined the SS, requested permission to take up the role once more.

"On one condition, Wilder said: 'Use real nails.'"

 

Hitler visited a fortune teller on the reason why he was losing the war.

The Fortune teller looked into Adolf´s hand and said " Jewish Generals!"

" But I don´t have any!" said Adolf.

" I know", said the fortune teller, "but the other side has many!"

 

A concentration camp joke by inmates

"Why isn´t God in Auschwitz?"

" He didn´t make it through the selection!" ( Where the nazi doctor decided who goes to camp and who goes to the gas chamber)

 

POW humour

One amusing incident in the camp hospital was when we were visited by the local padre. The troops taught him an obscene word and claimed that it meant “good bye” in English. When leaving, he stopped with his arm in the air, to bless everyone and said my friends “****!” The whole congregation fell about laughing. He never did understand why and must have thought “these Inglesi are pagans!”

BBC - WW2 People's War - Anecdotes from Life as a POW: In Servigliano, Italy

 

It seems Stalin did not realize one day he was too close to the Finnish line...

 

"Frigging Finns have no respect!"

 

that's great Kai!

 

Hitler was infuriated by the anti-Nazi jokes that were popular in Germany as soon as he came to power. He issued an order to the Gestapo:

"Find out who's responsible and bring him to me!"

So a Jewish comedian, Y ossel von Goldbloom, was dragged into the Fuhrer's presence. Hitler roared: "Did you invent the one about me and the ass?"

"Yes," admitted Goldbloom.

"What about the one about me and the swine?"

"Yes, me too," nodded Goldbloom.

"And the one that says the day I die will be a Jewish holiday?"

"That too, I'm afraid," confessed Goldbloom.

"You pig of a Jew!" screamed Hitler.

"Don't you realise I'm the Fuhrer of the Third Reich - a great empire that will last a thousand years?"

"Ha! Ha!" shrieked Goldbloom, falling all over the place, "that's wonderful! But you can't blame me for that one - I never heard it before!"

 

Love the Göbbels one....wonderful golden oldie...

Dr Goebbels is travelling on a tram in Berlin.He comes to the Herman Göring plaza and soon after that to the Adolf Hitler plaza. He asked the conductor to inform him when they arrive to the avenue named after him.It did not take long as the conductor came and told that they were at the Invalid avenue !

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A neutral press man in Africa: In El Mekel 136 Italian soldiers and 38 mules were captured. The mules gave persistent resistance..

 

" In July 1941 Layforce was disbanded-much to the frustration of the Commandos themselves.The general feeling of disgruntlement was expressed rather more bluntly by a piece of graffiti on a troop deck in HMS Glengyle: "Never in the whole history of human endeavour have so few been buggered about by so many."

From Commando by S Dugan

 

75 Gun

" The 75(mm gun) is firing. The 37(mm gun) is firing, but it is traversed round the wrong way. The Browning is jammed. I am saying "Driver advance" on the A set, and the driver, who can’t hear me, is reversing. And as I look over the top of the turret and see twelve enemy tanks fifty yards away . . . .

. . . someone hands me a cheese sandwich."

British tank commander, Western Desert 1942

 

Some weird situations during operation Dynamo:

In Portsmouth man called Fred Reynard was not ready to give his boat to the navy. Finally they took him to meet Admiral Sir William James.

Admiral: " I cannot guarantee that you´ll be safely back. Have you ever been under artillery fire?"

Reynard: " Ever heard of Gallipoli??"...

 

From the "Wehrmacht" series where often German Generals´ stories that were recorded in Trent Park castle are told:

They start talking ( June 1943 ) about Guderian who was kicked out of the command of 2. Panzer Army in Dec 1941. Guderian had commented it was more than shameful to be back at the home front. Guderian: When I go to the barbers´ he just stares at me and asks " What are you doing here?!"