Favourite movie one liners

by the great chris tucker: "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

 

Is there any website you can find a script for films? As I have a lot of trouble getting the exact quotes right.

Yours,

Bill

 

Yojimbo (1961)
Sanjuro: You're all tough, then?
Gambler: What? Kill me if you can!
Sanjuro: It'll hurt.

 

As a follow up, also from Yojumbo:

Gambler: If I'm caught they'll cut my head off
Sanjuro: No complaints then...

 

ALIEN

Two from Parker:

"You know why no one comes down here?" "Its you, you got no personality."

"Whats happing baby"

 

Surely you can't be serious?

Yes I'm serious.......and stop calling me Shirley!

anyone................................

 

Love Leslie Nielsen ones...

“Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.”

 

"Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f&cking peace corps."

John Belushi, AKA Blutto Blutarski
Animal House

 

I was watching the first X-Files movie the other day and found this play of words to be the best I've seen and heard since Casablanca. This is from the original script. It takes place in a downtown bar.

BARMAID
What do you do?

MULDER
What do I do.
(off her curious look)
I'm a key figure in an ongoing
government charade. An annoyance to my
superiors. A joke among my peers.
"Spooky," they call me. Spooky Mulder.
Whose sister was abducted by aliens
when he was a kid. Who now chases
little green men with a badge and a
gun, shouting to the heavens and
anyone who'll listen that the fix is
in. That our government's hip to the
truth and a part of the conspiracy.
That the sky is falling and when it
hits it's gonna be the sh!tstorm of
all time.

She stares at him for a moment, startled by his drunken
screed. She pulls back the shooter she's just poured
Mulder.

BARMAID
I think that about does it, Spooky.

MULDER
Does what?

BARMAID
Why don't you go home to the old lady
--

MULDER
Sorry. Don't have one.

 

Not really a movie, but I was watching an Eddie Izzard DVD. Sooooo many quotes to pull from that one. Here is one:

(Eddie is British) We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain." And they're going, "You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us." "Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a flag, this is our country you bastard!"

(re: British actors playing all the bad guys on the Death Star)
Eddie: (1)What is it Lt. Sebastian? (2)It’s the Rebels, sir. They’re here. (1)My God, man. Do they want tea? (2)No, I think there after something more than that, sir. I don’t know what it is, but they’ve brought a flag.

 

Just watched the excellent Bladerunner twice within a week:

"Wake up! Time to die! "

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tan Hauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die."

 

Here is another from Eddie Izzard. Look him up on YouTube if you haven't heard his skits before! Simply brilliant!


Other mass murderers have gotten away with it...Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there. Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest, age 72. Well done, indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is because they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Oh, help yourself! You know? We've been trying to kill you for ages! So, if you kill your own people, right on, then. But Hitler killed people next door.... stupid man. After a couple of years, we won't stand for that, will we? Pol Pot killed 1.7 million people, and we can't even deal with that. We think that if someone kills someone, that's murder, you go to prison. You kill 10 people, you go to Texas, they hit you with a brick, that's what they do. 20 people, you go to a hospital and they look at you through a small window forever. And over that, we can't deal with it. You know? If somebody's killed 100 thousand people, we're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100 thousand people?! You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym! Your diary must look odd: Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, lunch, death, death, death, afternoon tea, death, death, death, quick shower.

 

'Find me a dead cat'. Sean Connery to Donald Sutherland in Great train robbery (not sure if that is the title)

 

From my favorite western Big Jake

Ten years ago had you risked my boys life Buck, I would have killed you. If I find him dead, I'll still kill you.

 

"where de white women at?" -Blazing Saddles

"fvck you Joe Boo, I do it myself" -Major League

 

"Did you ever kill anyone?"
"I hurt somebody's feelings once"
-Robert DeNiro, "Ronin"

 

"Just throw me the goddam ball Reno." The Best of Times

"Boy, you got a panty on your head." Raising Arizona

"Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass ahoppin'. " Raising Arizona again

"Let it ride" Let It Ride

"What knockers!" Young Frankenstein