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Hitler invaded Ireland?

Discussion in 'What If - European Theater - Western Front & Atlan' started by Kai-Petri, Dec 10, 2002.

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  1. Jumbo_Wilson

    Jumbo_Wilson Member

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    Why has nobody mentioned Nuns yet?
     
  2. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    Ok! Nuns!

    Anyway, I guess that was a joke at the time, right?

    "The rumour of parachutists dressed as nuns was a favourite at the time..."

    Well, you never know what Skorzeny might be up to...

    By the way, I thought it was quite hilarious in Skorzeny´s book as he was in prison and the US at one point brought loads of weapons and men to protect the place and the reason was " the Werewolves are attacking the place with Skorzeny leading them..."
    The prison priest told the officer that Skorzeny was in prison already but the officer would cling to his statement...
    ;)
     
  3. Jumbo_Wilson

    Jumbo_Wilson Member

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    Capt Mainwairing: Now we've been briefed by GCHQ that German parachutists may invade disguised as Nuns.
    Pvt Godfrey: How can we tell if they are real nuns or Nazis?
    LCpl Jones: Well you look up their Habits. If they've got hairy legs then you let them have it - right up!
    Pvt Godfrey: Oh dear! I don't think I would care to look at a Nun's legs...
    Capt Mainwairing: This is war Godfrey!


    Jumbo...
     
  4. CrazyD

    CrazyD Ace

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    Hee hee... there ya go, Jumbo... Kai mentioned Nuns! :D

    I've never heard this one... paratroops disguised as nuns.

    Great mental picture though... bunch on Nuns toting Mp40s dropping out of the sky... sounds like a GREAT B-movie!

    "Killer Nazi Nuns with MachineGuns"

    I have gottent o thinking about this one though. I think it would be an interesting scenario to consider- the germans fighting against the British on British soil. I get the idea that the terrain would have favored the British, but I really don't know enough. And I wonder if the germans would be able to stay out of costly urban fighting- where would the British have engaged them? Would the Brits have risked more casualties by drawing the germans into the cities?

    Think I'll put something together on this...
     
  5. Jumbo_Wilson

    Jumbo_Wilson Member

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    Crazy

    If the Germans managed to stumble ashore and keep supplied their initial aim was to grab Dover, thus getting a port. This would have involved at least some urban fighting. The Drive on London through Kent and Sussex would have initially been like Northern France but with more pill boxes and static defences. The outskirts of London would have been quite a different story with lots of Suburbs to wade through: the Germans had never taken anything this big and you have to question how they were going to control an attack into the urban sprawl.

    I'm not the expert on this, Martin is more up to speed on the GHQ line and the land defences. I am more interested in how many converted apple barges the RN could sink with light forces, mines and Submarines...

    Jumbo
     
  6. Erich

    Erich Alte Hase

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    Back in 94, half kidding and half serious one neighbor who served in the 82nd airborne? as glider/para infantry was to be dropped on St. Mere Eglise on 6 June, their section had talked about the nuns dress a suitable attire and peaceably walking into the town, they had hoped at night then unleashing their Thompsons on the bewildred German troops.

    anyone else hear of this ? hmmmmmmm should probably try and go sniff this guy out again.
     
  7. Stevin

    Stevin Ace

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    I have never heard about something like that. Have read a lot on the 82nd though (not everything of course). I am sure the guys talked about these things as they were going over the plan and the best way to achieve its objectives. But I am pretty sure that a plan such as this would never have made it very far past the 'brainwave'-stage. I think it would be completely unpractical and for sure it would have been forbidden by the heirarchy.

    On the other hand, in occupied Europe, downed and evading airmen were helped by the underground on their way to Spain or Switzerland. Here the nun and friar outfits were certainly used to mislead the Germans while transporting the airmen. I even have a pic of it somewhere in my books.
     
  8. CrazyD

    CrazyD Ace

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    Good point... even simply to secure a port, the germans would likely have been looking at a pretty large urban fight. I don't know much about English cities- I'll have to look into terrain around and size of Dover.

    And even if the germans had been able to secure Dover and ensure some supplies coming in (which would again require that somehow the Royal Navy misses all this!!)... getting all supplies from what comes into Dover would have likely slowed down any further german actions. The supplies and replacements would have to be moved out of Dover and into whatever combat areas came later. This would have reduced any advances after Dover to a crawl... and an attrition battle the invading germans would have had trouble managing...

    I guess one factor that could have helped the germans was the deployment of the british army units stationed in England. Were they stationed all around the country, or concentrated in the south?
     
  9. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

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    Right so there we have it...

    Seelowe succeeds.

    Due mainly to the following:

    RAF night time raids on the likely assembly points in France (which did happen by the way, Martin will be able to fill us in on the regularity) fail as the RAF bomber pilots had a vote between themselves and though its too dangeous to fly at night and they might hit the bannana boats instead of the apple barges.

    The Royal Navy fearing it might lose ships, and this would not do for any future Spithead reviews withdrew to Canada, leaving a few armed trawlers to tie up to barges crossing channel, and ask the occupants what their business was in British waters, on seeing that the occupants were actually catholic nuns and priests returning from Lourdes they allowed them to travel peacefully on their journey.

    RAF fighter command not wanting to upset their European neighbours withdrew to Scotland and the Lake district to enable the pilots time to grow their handle bar moustaches before engaging the enemy.

    Coastal defences, on seeing such a large religious gathering of foreign visitors, refused to open fire on nuns, and anyway they could not throw their pitchforks with any great accuracy, as they were still awaiting release of new replica wooden guns.

    Dummy paratroopers quickly surrounded (they were used by British on D day by the way and exploded like fire crackers to confuse enemy, there is a scene in Longest day maybe romantacised slightly but happened) Montgommery and his troops, Monty being unwilling to fight as we keep getting told, surrenders immediately. Leaving the Canadians and a few tanks that were in reality biycicles with cardboard surrounds, given away by sight of cycle clips on soldier peddaling away merrily.

    The Canadians refuse to fight on the grounds that their boots dont fit.

    The home guard man their road blocks but as the German nuns attack at 11, its time for tea and they all go home for sandwiches.

    The lines of pill boxes are easily bypassed by the Germans who simply fool the occupants by driving on the left in their tanks rather than as expected by the Brits on the right as they do in Mainland Europe, cunning eh?

    The citizens of Britain, then open their doors and windows and throw their ration cards at the relieving freindly German troops to make sure they get adequate sweet rations.

    Winston Chruchill awaits the German arrival at Downing st, is pictured shaking the hand of the leading German commander, Major woodparainzik, who although only 2 foot tall and made of wood managed to land by parachute right outside number 10 Downing st past the guards at the top of the road who were too busy checking blackout curtains were all ok in surrounding streets.

    And we have all seen that picture of the King sharing a glass of his finest malt whiskey and telling Ribbentrop " Im a Battenburg dont cha know old chap."

    And historians of today are still in awe at how easy it really was to conqure those damn Brits.
     
  10. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

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    Sorry forgot, the mustard gas was never used as when the bottles were opened it was found to be French mustard and not British, and was quickly repackaged and sent to the Canadians.

    The sea was never set on fire as Churchill wanted due to the coastal areas being smoke free zones.

    Errr. sorry. Ill shut up now.
     
  11. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    Well done, Urgh!

    If I was Hitler I´d send Halder out and you´d be the First Quartermaster General...Great Seelöwe!

    :D
     
  12. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    Some invasion pics in the net:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Here we go ( swim)!

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    The VENONA Documents, July 1940

    :confused:

    These are the scanned-in images of the VENONA documents which have been declassified up to this point that are from the month of July 1940.

    http://www.nsa.gov/docs/venona/docs/July40/july40.html
     
  13. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

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    Like that Venona site Kai, thanks.

    I take it the gemans on the beach were getting ready to cross the channel? Didnt need shoes or trousers cos as we know now, they could walk on water....
     
  14. No.9

    No.9 Ace

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    Wot, another resurrected thread! --uuu-*U*-uuu--

    The reason for this relates to some further information on Britain’s anti-invasion defences in 1940. I stated earlier the Independent Companies and the Commandos were, for a period, assigned to anti-invasions duties. I also stated that Monty’s plan for the south east was not to stack main defences on the beaches in all areas.

    Yesterday I was speaking with a friend who was in No.2 Commando. The conversation drifted onto the Independent Companies and he advised he was originally with No.5 Independent, which later went into the make-up of No.2 Commando. No.5 Independent Company was one of the five out of ten Independent Companies who fought in Norway. When Norway was abandoned, they returned to Scotland and then were transferred south, re the above reasons. Whilst on this assignment, they were redeployed with new instructions.

    They were told in the event of invasion the enemy would not be heavily opposed on the beaches in their area and would therefore eventually be moving inland. When in their area the Independents were to go for anything that would achieve maximum kill rates with tactics decided as the situation unfolded. Actions could be taken in whatever strengths were deemed appropriate or possible, down to individual action. They were to be a delaying buffer in front of divisional forces deployed before London when it was accessed how the enemy were moving. When it was asked at what point the Independent’s should withdraw, they were advised they were not to withdraw and were expendable.

    No.9
     
  15. Gerard

    Gerard Member

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    The house in which he stayed and was arrested was in the suburb of Terenure, and the house is 10 minutes walk from my house. I'll try and get some photos of the place to post up here :D
     
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