Oh, real Spam.....10 years, easy. (I've eaten a few 10 year-old MRE's. They don't age as well as Scotch, but the stay palatable. )
Spam from the Cretaceous is roaming around somewhere. Poppy, you remember that shit back then, right?
The best quick meal: bachelor style spaghetti. We'd make this on hunting/fishing trips in Alaska using canned bacon. Fresh bacon is even better. This is a very difficult recipe. Fry up a bunch of bacon. Lots of bacon. Then chop it up and throw it in some cheap spaghetti sauce to simmer. Boil some pasta. Throw the bacon sauce on the pasta. Eat. Save the bacon grease to fry Spam the following morning so that it tastes like bacon. Well, a little bit like bacon. Sort of. If you've shot a caribou you can also fry up some steaks in the bacon grease. The caribou won't taste much like bacon, but it does add some healthy salt and nitrites to your diet that you'll need to get through a busy of day of napping under a tree with a rifle in your lap. .
Bah, just take a pound of burger and brown it, then throw in a jar of salsa and simmer for five. Put on stuff.
What about Vienna sausages? I'm pretty sure the average guy from Vienna would beat you senseless if you even brought up the subject. .
All I'm saying is that Austrians are pretty serious about their sausages. It's like Canadians and Tim Horton's, or Floridians riding bicycles naked on meth. You don't want to taunt people about their native foods and habits. .
I'm in complete agreement. You won't catch me making fun of people from Chicago and what they call 'pizza', or New Yawkers and what they call 'chowder'. To each their own, I say. Now, pass those fried Mountain Oysters around....please....