The one sentence story

And Joe was then put onto a plane which flew to Moskou so he could say to Stalin "Stalin, arneken used one sentence...PAUSE... NOT", what would Joseph say?

 

"Well, it was about time for us to issue another "Not another step back" order, wouldn't you think?"

 

He was given the water board treatment and told how fun it was by his inquisitors !

 

After that, I told him about some of the members on this forum, he made me a Marshall of the Soviet Union and his successor, and said I could send anyone I like to the GULAG (Hey Za, I have something to show you...).

 

But, but, but, but, BUT!

 

Said the crowd of Eskimos when a streaker ran across the north pole, tripping over the pole and igniting his copy of Battlefield 1942.

 

The Eskimos grab the flame without thought and take it to heat the nearest Igloo, and after ten minutes the Igloo is gone, melted by the heat of a charred version of Battlefield 1942, when the eldest member of the tribe yells at the crowd "why can't we make our houses like everyone else in the world, Out of wood and steel."

 

Curtain!

 

So the Eskimos build a city out of proper building materials, and, in a few decades, the 'Northern Republic' has the largest economy in the world, and the largest military, so they Invade both America and Europe to gain more land, and the totally Unprepared forces of NATO are smashed, so, Taking advantage of the turmoil, China and Russia go to war.

 

But, the Canadians in their magnatude and the Americans in their deviousness, ply the now powerful and expansionist Eskimos with tobacco and alcohol, twin debilitating evils of the native, causing them to slip into a perpetual stupor clouded in a haze of pleasured smoke which ends in America and China colluding to rule the world in a cabal of underhanded backroom business deals with Russia, as she both proverbally and literally has been for so many years, left out in the cold.

 

Faced with Three superpowers threatening it's borders, the EU is disbanded in favour of the EA (European Alliance), based in London, and All member countries build up their armies in anticipation for Armageddon...

 

Finito Benito, next Hiroito.

 

Unfortunately for the EA they include, at the rather blustery noisome ranting and emotional outbursting, the French in their alliance dooming any chance of victory they might have had and instead fold like the noisy accordian that France typcially proves itself whenever faced with an actual war.

 

To remove this threat of ultimate victory, the stronger powers invade France and wipe it off the map, It is split between all the countries bordering it, and all Frenchmen are 'reeducated' and sent off to different European towns and Citys and Villages.

 

"My fellow Texans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw France forever, therefore we begin bombing in five minutes."

 

Sadly we can't read a map worth shit, so sorry Sweden we did our best !!

 

Hey Joe, I understand monkeys, but what does your avatar mean ?

 

Well basically, said Joe, in those old console games, such as The legend of Zelda, You would come across a guy who said it was dangerous to go alone (IE there where monsters) so they would give you something (Normally a fairy (Pansies!)) to help you; in my avatars case it is a kitten (It's supposed to be a joke), and anyway back to the story, we are going to try and bomb France again.........fire (!)........OOOOOPS, Sorry Kenya!

 

On relooking at your picture I see the kitten is in a pair hands, my monkey told me it was a kitten standing on hot dogs, thus my confusion.

 

Oh, I see what you mean, the hands do sort of look like hot dogs, but why is the kitten not falling over on the said hot dogs, which must have been glued to the table to stop them moving, or magnetised, or whatever it could be, but why would a kitten be standing on hot dogs anyway is unknown, though it would be even more confusing if the kitten was standing on cold dogs, that is dogs who have been left outside on a chilly night (and keeping the neighbors awake with the non-stop barking, trust me it is horrendous), not the sausage type that are uncooked but the animal type that has got cold via the cold air on a cold night, I mean the night as in the opposite of day, not a medieval Knight who has been locked outside his castle on a cold night after a dispute with his princess, who must be pretty annoyed at him, I hope she does not lash out at the servants, or just throw them out like she did to her husband, but then they will get cold, and probably go on strike, but in the country in witch these servents work Striking is illegal, so they will probably face death by smelly fart, which, incidentally, is not a pretty way to die, and farting on the battlefield has also been banned under the Geneva convention, so is the general taking his socks off and showing his feet to the opposition, thus giving them nightmares so they don't get any sleep, therefore they are too tired to fight the next day; I wonder how loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong (Sorry, finger slipped) it will take for me to finishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (damn slippery keyboard) this sentenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (this is just getting annoying), probably a long time as there is a man with a water gun pointing at my head, he is saying I will continue typing till he says I can stop, and by the look of him (I can't really tell what he looks like, his face is obscured by a smelly sock, oh, smelly socks on the battlefield has also been banned under the Geneva convention), this is going to take a while, so I will give you some mathematical equations: 1+1=243, 6x76=0.5, 1004-5=2000, 123456789x987654321=192837465.46732819, well the guys just gone now so I can put that thing on the end now, where is it, hmmmm, can't find the full stop, errrr, hmmmm, AH-HA, here it is= ~, NOPE, thats not it, errr, <, NOPE, errr, @, NOPE, errrr, oh what the heck, my fingers are getting tired now, so I will put that beloved black dot, HERE.