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What If We Used Paratroops To Take Schweinfurt and Regensburg in '43?

Discussion in 'What If - European Theater - Western Front & Atlan' started by Dook, Nov 30, 2017.

  1. USMCPrice

    USMCPrice Idiot at Large

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    I can't talk to you Bobby, you're not a "real man", you're from "Baton Rouge", (too bad a can't type accents, in my head I put a real cool french accent on it when I typed it). You might have some of that homo french blood in you and ya'll like to drop your weapons, at least you only do it once. Dook said so, so it must be true; "You're very afraid, you must be French. I bet you own one of the two million French WW2 rifles, only dropped once."
    OH SHIT !!!! I just remembered, I was born there; OH MY GOD, now I have to shave my head, divorce my wife, sell my house, eat quiche and french pastries so I can get fat, move into my mom's basement, kill my dogs (manly dogs) and get a miniature poodle, burn all those heretical history books, (because they were written by pole smoking, recliner sitting, wimps), so I can fit into Dook's stereotype.
    Never mind, I don't think I can do all that. I might just go down and get a blood change and spleen removal (basically your blood filter) just in case I have some of that defective french or Canadian blood flowing through my veins. It's a risky procedure, likely fatal, but it would be worth it if I could get the mighty Dook's approval.

    BTW Bobby, we used to be paratroops, I've done some really, really stupid shit and have volunteered for some pretty hairy missions; would you volunteer for Dook's operation? I know I wouldn't have.

    I guess it's OK though. While I will become totally worthless, and have zero self-esteem at least I can still talk to Rich, and Slimey, and George, lwd, Lou, Belasar and the rest of you guys. Seems like an OK deal to me.
     
  2. USMCPrice

    USMCPrice Idiot at Large

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    Don't ban him Belasar, he's entertaining.
     
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  3. von Poop

    von Poop Waspish WW2|ORG Editor

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    It's actually hard to think of a madder large scale parachute operation.
    In a world where parachute ops have always been risky, dangerous by their very nature often to a knife-edge extent, it's just so remarkably loopy.
    Impressive.


    I looked at a variety of grim images of failed jumpers to illustrate things, but this popped up and just seems to say 'this whole marvellous thread' better than anything...

    28840764e66d4b1dbcb3904dc71a088f--military-aircraft-wwii.jpg
     
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  4. ColHessler

    ColHessler Member

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    I'll just be glad when we're sick of playing with this.
     
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  5. USMCPrice

    USMCPrice Idiot at Large

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    I wish he wasn't banned because I'm interested in the logistics involved, for instance.

    "-At 9 pm in England, one C-47 departs from airfield one towing a glider and another C-47 departs from airfield two towing a glider. Each glider is loaded with eight M2 4 inch mortars, 8 men to operate them, and 1,500 lbs of ammunition."

    Ok, is that eight men total, which is how it reads, or one man per mortar? Eight men per mortar is the standard crew. So we have either eight men total, each of whom will have to hump a 333 lb. mortar, or 64 men that far exceed the 13 man capacity of the CG-4 Waco glider. Then we have 1,500lbs of ammo, so at about 26 lbs. per round that would be 57 rounds. A reasonable initial load for a single mortar, but only seven rounds per tube using the OP's eight four-deuces. Then there's the max load for the glider, 4,197 lbs.
    4,197-1500=2697 333 x 8=2664 2697-2664=33 lbs. for operators. Really, really skinny midget mortarmen?

    Then I wonder why, from a tactical perspective he selected the four-deuce? It's kind of an oddball weapon for light units.
     
  6. LRusso216

    LRusso216 Graybeard Staff Member Patron  

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    Now you're just throwing facts around. Don't you understand that facts don't matter? As someone said, never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
     
  7. RichTO90

    RichTO90 Well-Known Member

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    Uh, no, how did you ever manage to derive that assumption from what I posted?

    However, I am curious just how such an obviously manly-man rich genius like you hiding behind internet anonymity in order to hurl random childish insults makes you anything other than a coward and a child?

    You mean an obviously manly-man rich genius like you doesn't know?
     
  8. KodiakBeer

    KodiakBeer Member

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    I still think my exploding paratroopers idea was sound. Yeah, yeah, you might have trouble getting volunteers, but if you appealed to their patriotism and glossed over the exploding part I think you'd find the right men for the job.

    .
     
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  9. RichTO90

    RichTO90 Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget the weight of the eight M1A1 handcarts.
     
  10. belasar

    belasar Court Jester Staff Member

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    Easy enough for you to say, you weren't called a slow, old, fat, balding, homosexual, French-Canadian, surrender monkey!!

    Nobody calls me slow and gets away with it!
     
  11. belasar

    belasar Court Jester Staff Member

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    Ah the 5 point nose landing, a very advanced landing procedure, not easily mastered
     
  12. RichTO90

    RichTO90 Well-Known Member

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    Dammit! You banned him just as it was getting entertaining. I was starting to wonder why it shouldn't be expanded to a full divisional op, with conventional divisions entering by air bridge? I mean if you have C-54s in quantity then why not fly in an entire armored division equipped with M22 Light Tanks and armored Jeeps? You could have an entire army in the heart of Bavaria in a twinkling, them Nazis would never see it coming and the loss of beer and brats alone would be enough to force the Germans to sue for peace.
     
  13. USMCPrice

    USMCPrice Idiot at Large

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    I'd thought along the lines of 4 C-47's each towing gliders, and one cruiser to bring two super secret special digger hats from Australia to Britain. (Each team leader is required to wear a super secret digger hat) Each glider carries a jeep and two men, send two teams of two jeeps, one team to each city. Their special .50 cals can cut through a Panzer like butter. Their mobility and combat power is unparalleled. Germany would quit in two weeks, maybe a month.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2017
  14. von Poop

    von Poop Waspish WW2|ORG Editor

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    It's alright, lads; the Locust & Tetrarch have arrived!
    Each one easily the measure of a Panzer division, especially with exploding paratroopers securing the suburbs.

    Locust.jpg Tetrarch.jpg
     
  15. belasar

    belasar Court Jester Staff Member

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    Alas it would not work :(

    With one Brit in every other Jeep there would be endless halts to debate who was better, Patton or Monty?
     
  16. belasar

    belasar Court Jester Staff Member

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    If Britain hadn't run out of Kamakase Scottish Highlanders it might have had a whisker of a chance!
     
  17. Takao

    Takao Ace

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    I doubt that they would be arguing over such trival matters such as that.

    They would never leave the drop zone because they would never agree on which side of the road to drive on.
     
  18. George Patton

    George Patton Canadian Refugee

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    Von Poop, I am ashamed of you. How dare you introduce something interesting to this discussion. In fact, I just had to do a google search for that image to find the story behind it:

    During take-off, in order to stop the nose wheel rotation prior to retracting it, the pilot hit the brakes after the front wheel had lifted off the ground. The wheel touched down again while he still had the brakes on and the aircraft flipped.
    (Soruce: B24 Liberator Information)
    Damn you! Now you've taken away valuable time that would have been spent eating poutine, dropping French rifles, and crying over why my daddy didn't love me! Mange la merde, and may your igloo door be blocked by a profuse flow of maple syrup and Wayne Gretzky memorabilia while you slowly freeze due to chronic lumberjack jacket shortage you limey bastard!

     
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  19. RichTO90

    RichTO90 Well-Known Member

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    This reminded me of something my Dad told me about when he re-entered the Army after the war. His AAA battalion went to Japan in 1948 as part of the Army of Occupation (he was entitled to wear both the Army of Occupation Germany and Japan medal) they first were stationed at Yokohama and Tokyo and then went north to Misawa. Anyway, before they went to Misawa he was sent to a Army mandated class on glider loading, which he said was fascinating, except that the Army was no longer interested in gliders, already looking at helicopters for the role...and in any case he was a battery officer in a 120mm AAA battalion, so he was unclear on just exactly what use the class was to him... Much more important was the hard knocks school of unloading a 32-ton artillery piece off of an LST onto a improvised beach hardstand at the port of Hachinohe and then hauling it inland on roads they had to improve as they went.
     
  20. green slime

    green slime Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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