Some jokes and some funny pics...

Sorry, it still is bad taste.

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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all of his fellow inmates.
The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused.
He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".

 

And you say C&H is lame...




Cheers...

 

well, the second one brought a little smirk to my face!

This really got me laughing! It's about marriage and women!

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

 

Pretty funny I thought....

 

Alien hunters send text messages into space to contact extra terrestrials - Telegraph

The website accepts messages that it passes on free of charge, but users who want a certificate of transmission must pay £9.95, which includes postage.

The site says it aims to replace standard greeting cards that are "so temporary in nature – often being thrown away just a few days after being sent".

Messages posted through the site are sent into space through the British Telecom satellite transmission station at Goonhilly in Cornwall.

 

A Russian an American and a blonde are discussing space travel.
The Russian says, "we were first in Space!"
The American says, "we were first on the moon!"
The blonde says, "so what! we are going to be first on the Sun!"
The Russian and the American look at each other in disbelief and shout!
" you can't go to the Sun, you'll burn up!!"

The blonde replies, "well, duhh! we're going at night!"

 

HMS Glasgow was on exercise in the Mediterranean. With fuel running low, a RAS (Refuelling at Sea) was necessary. The Tanker assigned to the force was HMS Bayleaf.

Weather conditions were poor and communications on HF were difficult. The Navigator spoke to his opposite number on the Bayleaf and a rendez-vous was set up for the next day. Latitude and Longitude were passed and the time for rendez-vous set at 1600.

At the appointed time, HMS Glasgow was in position with the ship at a high state of readiness. But there was no sign of the Bayleaf. 10 min overdue, the Navigator contacted the Bayleaf. Co-ordinates were checked and it quickly became apparent that the figure for Latitude had been misheard by 1 degree.

The Navigator realised that this put the two ships apart by approximately 60 miles. He briefed the Captain that the RAS needed to be delayed by 3 hours while the two ships sailedtowards each other. Unfortunately, he had not checked the chart.

When he eventually did so, and plotted the positions, he realised that the distance apart was indeed only 60 miles . . . . but between the two ships lay Crete !

10 hours later and with fuel reserves dangerously low, the two ships finally refuelled. The Navigator was not impressed when, at his leaving dinner, the following rhyme was recited:

"We were due to rendez-vous the Bayleaf,
She was the pride of the fleet.
Everything would have been all right,
If we'd been the right side of Crete."

 

Now that was good!!!

 

I knew they were coming back one day!



Karl Marx goes manga in a Kapital comic strip - Times Online

When Karl Marx alerted economists to the “the knell of capitalist private property” he probably didn’t imagine the phrase cropping-up as a speech bubble in a comic strip for Japanese commuters.

But across the world’s second biggest economy, bookstores from Hiroshima to Hokkaido are preparing for what they expect to be the publishing phenomenon of the year: Das Kapital – the manga version.

 

Mein Kampf also has a Manga version btw...



Cheers...

 

The guy is a groundskeeper for God's sake he could just be really, really stupid....or blind.

 

Then there is always this site: I recommend buying one of the T-Shirts; especially those living in Britain....

Jesus and Mo » Archive » ugh!

Didn't you always want your own personalized fatwa put on you by some radical cleric?

 

Australians angry over bid to ban topless sunbathing* - Yahoo! News UK

Australians angry over bid to ban topless sunbathing


Sun-loving Australians reacted angrily on Tuesday to a mid-summer bid by a conservative Christian lawmaker to ban topless sunbathing on beaches in the country's most populous state.

Christian lawmaker and veteran morals campaigner Reverend Fred Nile won backing from key politicians in New South Wales state, counting Sydney and its famed ocean beaches, to tighten existing laws covering nude sunbathing.

"The law should be clear. It must say exposure of women's breasts on beaches will be prohibited," Nile said.

Centre-left state government lawmaker Paul Gibson told the Daily Telegraph newspaper that families at the beach during the summer holidays did not want topless women.

But scores of callers to radio talkback stations complained about the plan and Leanne Peters from the ACT Nudist Club in the capital Canberra said Australia would look like a "haven for prudes" in the unlikely event that laws passed parliament.

Australians love their suntans and topless sunbathing has been common on most beaches since the 1960s. Nude beaches are also legal in every state except tropical Queensland.

But the country also suffers the world's highest rate of melanoma skin cancer. A new and graphic government advertising campaign warns there is no such thing as safe tanning, building on decades of similar official warnings.

NSW Assistant Health Minister Jodi McKay said banning topless sunbathing was a step too far for most lawmakers. "We don't want to go down the slippery slope of banning activities like this. What would be next, banning breastfeeding?" she said..

 

Just for Carl

YouTube - Mitch Benn: Obamabama! (The Now Show)

 

In Britain we have got "Anne Frank- the diaries" Or similar showing on our TV this week.

This reminds me of a true story about when Pia Zadora tried to get into acting.

She was in a theatre play in which she was Anne Frank, & her performance was so bad that when the Nazis first turned up on stage, someone from the audience shouted, "She's in the attic"!

 

Hey, while I'm here, I'd just like to say that I do a radio program every Saturday. It's on from 3pm 'til 6pm, English time! www.wcrfm.org.uk

It's popular music from 60s, 70s & 80s, plus light-hearted chat from the weeks news.

Join me & have a laugh!

Martyn.

 

Mind the grammer mistakes. (Got them from another forum)

 

ok those are seriously lame.

 

Yeah thats what I thought too.