Found this while surfing. Funny in placing but some serious points. makes you think. Murphy's law of combat. Never be first. Never be last. Never volunteer for anything. Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder according to government specifications. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready and when you're not. No PLAN ever survives initial contact.' There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. The easy way is always mined. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. Incoming fire has the right of way. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. If the enemy is within range, so are you. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. Tracers work both ways. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. When both sides are convinced the are going to lose, they are both right. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Military Intelligence is a contradiction. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up. Weather ain't neutral. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue. Napalm is an area support weapon. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity. The one item you need is always in short supply. Interchangeable parts aren't. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about. When in doubt, empty your magazine. The side with the simplest uniforms wins. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance. The crucial round is a dud. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
The two maps one reminds me of a quote from a senior officer that my grandfather had on his wall (he had the name of the officer who came u with it as well): 'All British battles are fought up hill, in the rain and on the edge of two maps'
And one from Arnhem : - If it goes on too long, it's going wrong. If it goes on even longer, it's really going wrong....
The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. Describes my ex-boss to a T !!!
Some of the above items - and others - are found with attribution at http://www.milhist.net/global/wisdom.html
