Your religious inclination

Liar!!! I am no where near your residence

 

Yes, most of us have heard of the Big Enchilada in the Sky.

On a different tack,

 

I must say I am surprised that Otto?peppy have allowed this; poll to even take place as it was against the rules for some of us when we joined up some years ago as some of the original cast, and in fact I believe similar threads were started - 2 of them and both pulled

these forums and I will say it are really starting to pull away from the WW 2 themes that the site was created for and around........

v/r E ~

 

What's wrong with this poll? And it was put in the Free Fire Zone, not in General WW2.

If you like the poll, tick your choice. If you don't like it, pass aside. That's all there is to it. Besides, I don't exactly see massive rejection by the members here.

 

I was going to post this on another board where such irreverance is more common but it fits so well here:

In the interest of better service from your God we at Gods-R-Us would like you to take a few minutes and fill out the following survey so that your God can better serve your needs in the future. Note that all responses are completely confidential and that you need not disclose any personal information as God already knows who you are.
Again we thank you for filling out the survey.

1. How did you find out about your Diety?

Newspaper, magazine, or other print media
Divine text or religious literature
Divine inspiration or personal appearance by your Diety
Miracle
Near death experiance
Talk radio
Mail offer
"Chemical" abuse
Cult kidnapping
Parential cohersion or inheretance
E-bay/Amazon/internet
Friend's recommendation
Visited Diety's local service center or show room
In-home sales demonstration
Other

2. What model of Diety did you aquire?

Jehova / Yahweh
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost (Holy Trinity package)
Jesus
Zeus, Hera, et.al. (Olympus package)
Odin, Freya, et.al. (Aryan package)
Allah
Satan
Shiva, Vishnu (Nudity package)
Huitzilopochtli, Quetzalcotal et.al. (Eat your heart (out) package)
Gaia/Mother Earth, Father Sky et.al. (Fruit and Nut package)
None of the above, I went with an economy model used God.

3. Did you Diety arrive in good condition without damage or serious defects?
Y / N
If you answered No please list the problems you encountered in your initial use. Mark all that apply:

Not eternal
Finite. Not available in all parts of the cosmos or has limited service area
Not omniscient
Not omnipotent
Not amrophic. Unable to assume any shape or object or be everything to everyone
Too sexually permissive
Not sexually permissive enough
Makes mistakes
Allows bad (or good) things to happen to people that don't deserve it.
Requires burnt offerings
Requires virgin sacrifices
Requires excessive servicing
Poor service time: eg., fails to promptly answer prayers etc.
Other (describe)

4. Was an instruction manual provided with your Diety?
Y/ N
If Yes, was this manual easy to use?
Y / N
If No, please list the problem(s) you had with it. Mark all that apply:

Not written in a language I can understand
Uses obscure, archaic wording
Provided only vague general instructions
No index
Overly complex / instructions were difficult to follow
Caused software conflicts when used around other Diety's manuals.

5. What influenced your decision to take the Diety that you chose? Mark all that apply:

Needed reason to live
Parential cohersion
Brainwashing by cult
Boredom
Societial cohersion
Needed direction on who to hate / dispise
Prefer someone else think for me
Wanted to meet little boys or girls
Fear of death
Fear of living
Wanted to really piss of parents/friends/co-workers
Wanted to get out of work
Need for certainty / closure
Need for moral superiority over others
Thought Pat Robertson or other televangilist looked really cool
A loud voice in a cloud commanded me to

6. Have you previously worshipped any other Diety before this one? If so please indicate which false Gods you previously followed:

Alice Cooper
Cthulhu
A televangilist
Baal
The Almighty Dollar
Evolution and Science
Left-Wing radical
Right-Wing radical
Barney
Ra
Popul Vuh
The Sun
The Moon
Large Stone Head(s)
Elvis
Jenna Jameson
Ahura Mazada
Other (describe)

7. Does your Diety require or recommend any additional products? Check all that apply:

Religious text(s)
Reference manual(s)
Icons or idols
Clothing and accessories
Travel packages (eg., Haj etc.)
Titheing / insurance packages
Videotapes or DVDs
Food products

8. Does your Diety have a local service center or other local services?
Y / N

If you indicated Yes please mark all that apply to your local area:

Place / house of worship
Altar for sacrifices
Field service agents such as angels, saints, priests etc.
Sacred site, statue or, similar
Bookstore
Clothing store
Slave market for human sacrifices
Other

9. Does your Diety have a technical help line?
Y / N
If Yes indicate those available:

Prayer
Sacrifice
Chanting
Pleading / beeseching
1-900 number
1-800 number
Website and or blog
Other

10. Are you currently using any other inspiritational methods in addition to your God? Check any that apply:

Lottery
Tarot
Television
Astrology
Dianetics
Pornography
Palmistry
Psychic or psychics
Self-help book(s)
Tea leaves
Booze or drugs
Psychic surgery
Internet
Chanting or mantras
Tree hugging/flowers/cute bunnies
Crystals or other shiny objects
Wandering in a wilderness
Living in a cave
Whole life insurance
Sex, drugs, rock and roll
Other

11. Does your Diety produce overt miracles? If so, please indicate which ones:

Does not produce overt miracles
Fire and brimstone
Turns enemies to ash/salt/stone
Produces abundance of food, drugs or, alcohol (eg., water to wine)
"Natural" disasters like fire, flooding, pestliance, volcanos, earthquakes
Raises dead / creates zombies
Creates crying statues or other signs of presence
Grants limited powers to certain persons (eg., psychic surgeons, faith healing etc)
Starts or ends wars
Causes astrological events (bright star in sky, eclipses etc)
Helped me score last night

12. Are you satisfied with the level of overt miracles and intervention into your life your Diety is currently providing?

No, I need more divine intervention
No, I need less divine intervention
Yes, the current level of divine intervention in my life is about right

13. For those miracles your Diety provides please indicate on a scale of 1 to 5 for each their handling (1 = totally unsatisfactory 5 = WOW! amazing!)

14. Are you going to buy additional religious products from your Diety in the next 12 months? If so indicate those you are planning to purchase:

Miracle
Disaster
Smiting of enemies or non-believers
Extended service package or warranty
Afterlife
Crusade or Jihad

We at Gods-R-Us would like to thank you for taking our survey. Return this card before the next millinia and you will automatically be eligible for a drawing for a free upgrade in the afterlife.

 

I don't have a problem with the poll.

There is nothing wrong with mentioning religion, as long as it isn't an argument, which this clearly is not. The votes are anonymous, but most importantly, no one is forcing anyone to participate nor even look at this thread. No one is pushing a particular religion here, or condemning a particular religion here.

The Free Fire Zone is intended for non-WWII matters, the whole entire rest of this website is full of WWII information, and I don't see this as a problem, nor do I see it as the Forums going in the wrong direction.

And for the record, I don't recall any other similar threads that were started and removed. Maybe Otto remembers them, but I certainly do not. The only threads that ever get pulled/closed are ones with useless bickering.

 

Beautiful, one your most humorous psts ever

 

Lookt at it this way: "The End of Times is Nigh!"

 

BTW my Parents did not "registered" me in any religion (don't know how you say this in English, like for example for Catholics, the thing with the water, Priest and Church).

I don't believe in God more than in ghosts or Santa Claus, but I'm not a militant atheist, so I checked the Couldnb't care less option.

PS : Maybe TAG's survey will help me to find the light

 

Im in your boat!!!! While I am Russian Orthodox ( got baptized last year ) I really couldnt care less. Maybe its the way I was brought up? Afterall my dad is Jewish and he doesnt really believe in god either. He just knows what he is and excepts it. I guess I am the same way, respect all religions but not sure if I even believe in god.

My mom on the other hand is another story! ( she is Russian Orthodox if you havent guessed )

 

I thought you were some Slavic heathen, worshipping the spirits of the woods and the winds in the steppes, visiting your Shaman on Sundays

 

You could at least include a bear in there somewhere, Jesus!

 

LOL and fell off the chair.

 

Proudly I stand as the only Pentecostal here, lol. It's ok! Really, I'm non-denominational. If the Bible says it that's what I believe.

I've done Christian missions work in many different (13) nations and have worked with all different "denominations" of Christianity including most of them listed here. If I disagree with someboday, we just agree to disagree and keep reaching and helping people.

 

What, no 'burn the heretics' stuff? You're missing half the fun then!

 

Well Za, sometimes I try to have a little fun

 

You aint the only one who misses Reagan. BOY he is sorely missed.

I think this country needs two greats right now: Ronald Wilson Reagan and John Wayne!

 

Right behind you bro.

 

So Za, what exactly is the point of your poll?