joke of the day..

Ah, that is new to me. It appears that there are different shades of Southerners. If I properly understand, these are standard Hillbillies:

 

Now, now, hillbillies are limited to the Appalachians, while rednecks are universal.

 

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

 

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" with friends.

Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice wine.
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.

 

A lady talks to the preacher after mass to see if he can help her.
He asks what the problem is and she says her two parrots only know one phrase, and it distresses her no end.
She tells him that the only thing they can say is "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

The preacher thinks for a second and says to bring her parrots to his house where he's been teaching them to preach the bible and pray.
She does so and puts her parrots in the cage with the preacher's pets and when they say as above the preachers parrots respond "Our prayers have been answered".

 

Epic Don't Drink and Drive Prank

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfvPPPc_UTs

 

Scientists Send Message using Alcohol in Vodka

Advancement in technology has surprised us for a long period of time and it is still surprising us.
Well, this time scientists have done something hard to imagine, sending a text message by using alcohol in vodka. This really sounds incredible, isn't it?

Scientists in Canada and the UK have actually sent a generic message a few meters through open space.
This has opened doors for researchers to send text using alcohol at places where wireless communication is not possible.

See: http://newstonight.co.za/content/scientists-send-message-using-alcohol-vodka

 

If it fits, I sits. The Supercut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDqUz2lG7-s

 

printer problem??? he can fix it

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqkW8ebVfAM[/video]

 

Some Cold war period Finnish jokes:

-If You could choose, which country would you declare war against?
A Finn: -China!
-OK, which country would be your second choice?
A Finn:-China!
-And your third choice?
A Finn:-China!
-Why always China?
A Finn: That way they would always have to attack and return through the USSR...



An East German farm owner was visiting Texas. The local farm owner was proud to say that
it would take days in his car to drive around his farm. The East German replied that they had the same kind of
cars in East Germany,too!