How to annoy a British person

I found this link both amusing and educational.


http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/best-ways-to-annoy-a-british-person

 

Certainly gave me a laugh ! 'Slappy Ham' ? - never heard of it.....everyone knows that a face is a boat......

And 'light beer'...what's that ?? Here, it's universally known as 'p*sswater'......

 

As that great British Institution would say..Bloody Marvelous ....Well he's Greek, but we don't talk about that..

The head on a pint...you bloody well betcha...
The Queue...Try and get past an old age pensioner...you can take their taxes..their money..their health care..their pension rise...their freedom..but you try jumping a queue...and quite right too...

I'm with Martin on the Ham...

To be British though...Is to take everything everyone throws at you...Moan..complain...demand leadership...Blame Johnny foreigner...refuse to make a fuss ot get involved...but Just don't theaten to blow us up in any shape or form..because that is when the Preverbial S...t hits the fan and it doesn't matter if Your Scottish...Welsh...Irish or English..We'll be united like no others...And sod the consequences...

 

Slappy Ham is Cockney rhyming slang - though it beats me as to what it rhymes with?

Do we have a Cockney out there?

Have heard of Boat Race = face

 

That kept happening to my chums in California a couple of years ago.
Tad bizzarre as they both have broad East London accents.

 

Constantly adding "He's not gay, he's British" when introducing them probably gets old also...

 

Make jokes about their English Cuisine ??? (I am still smarting from the rebukes there from the Pommies...)
http://www.ww2f.com/topic/45880-english-cuisine/

 

Never heard of cold on the cob...A cob to us up north is a crusty brown roll that shatters when you cut, butter or try to bite it...In fact I don't know why we buy em..they are fairly inedable...Pointy shooty is another I've never heard...I doubt if any one here ever has used that term. The ham I don't know of but if its cockney rhyme and slang its a lesser one not widely known..Richard was a cockney I think...I don't think we have any real cockneys here..maybe some Londoners...but a cockney is supposed to be found born within the sound of the Bow Bells? Not just a Londoner.
As to Yanks...ya'll know...ya'll yanks to us...The taps confused the hell out of me on my first trip to Yank land..in airport...they were automatic about a decade before we had anything like that over here...I got bloody soaked...in the wrong place too...Mr. Bean had nothing on me when I came out of the airport bathroom...or toilet as the Brits call it by its proper name...a bathroom is where you have a bath...a toilet is where you...well whatever..but I think folk thought I'd done both and I was trying to fit in in my new chino's...A tad embaressing...But as a Brit I ignored the soaking crotch...didn't want to cause a fuss..

 

No - it's modern 'urban' slang, it rhymes with nothing. You could as well say that 'whatever' , 'innit' or 'yer 'avin a laugh' is rhyming slang...it's not.

Rhyming slang has evolved and changed over the years but it should alsways rhyme : eg 'brown bread' = dead, thames punt =, (er, this is a family forum) ....., 'Uncle Dick' = sick, 'plates of meat' = feet, etc etc.

 

OK - live and learn - must ask my g Kids.

Anyway I take exception to point two - tea bags!

Definitely somebody under 50 yrs made up this list.

Real English people do not use tea bags.

And they always make sure the kettle is warm before poring in the hot water.

They never give the guest the first cup which must be pored away since its as weak as dishwater - the second cup is always the premier one.

Mind you Americans are just as fussy over their coffee. My niece (American) came over, so I dug out the coffee percolator.

But still not good enough - apparently I should have ground up my own beans.

Nothing wrong with Instant, in my view.

 

True Biak....your...most you'd expect is " I'm terribly sorry Mate, but sadly you are mistaken on that score" I

except now I'll take you to the British military side of that..most you'd expect is " I'm terribly sorry Mate, but sadly you are mistaken on that score"

Let him get 5 yards....then slot him...okey dokey sarge...

 

Anyone saying rooty tooty point and shooty would risk getting just that, a gun is a gun and possibly a shooter.

No one in the UK has ever said this and they are called lollies.

Not sure you do understand football I've watched what you call football in N America and only one bloke uses his feet?

Over here we have two games with the egg shaped ball. Played by men who hit like steam trains but don't need a helmet and a Myrmillion's armour to play it!! Plus they play 80 mins without 6 time outs, 4 quarters and more break's than a dodgy plumber.

I checked with my kids (I'm too old to know) and they'd never heard of slappy ham? Your face as said above is your boat or more accurately your boat race.

We do have some marvellous slang and regional variations which can be incomprehensible to someone from 20 miles away let alone another continent.

 

What he said....

 

It missed out calling them English when they're not!

 

Know Your Ally: Britain - 1944 United States War Department Educational Documentary (42 Minutes)
Fun starts in the 15:45 segment.


United States War Department film for soldiers who would be heading to Europe to fight the Germans during World War Two.
The film aims to explain cultural differences between the British and Americans, however the accuracy of the information is rather questionable!

This was the first in a number of educational films for the series "Know Your Allies and Know Your Enemies."

From: https://www.youtube.com/user/PublicResourceOrg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbp_4XBmD4w

 

John Britain? Never the less...that ones going straight on my signature...Excellent...