The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Just kidding! Stolen from another forum. ps...I'm really, really only joking
I just got that in my e-mail from someone else, so I guess you beat me to it. It seems like this one is sweeping the Internet pretty quickly
English understatement is great.Ripping on the French....good times. I can't believe there isn't one for the Poles.
Terror threat The reason the Poles are not included is because there are none left in Poland, but the 'Association of British Plumbers' is at it's highest ever level!
I think this one appeared before, but it's still really funny. I wish there was one for the Dutch. Hm... Level 4: "Talk with the big guys, spend lots of money" Level 3: "Pretend everything is perfectly under control and no one would ever hurt us" Level 2: "Get overrun" Level 1: "Plea for international aid"
It has been on here before, but it still makes me smile. Thanks Grieg. I particularly like the Italian one.
belgian levels are: 1) on a holliday 2) get friendly with france and england 3) flood some rivers 4) surrender
There ought to be some levels for Czechoslovakia... 1) Everything is fine. 2) Wait, no it isn't.. Mobilise the army for full scale war! 3) No, no, we changed our minds. Agree to be occupied. 4) No No! We changed out minds again. Assassinate their leader! 5) Oops. Sorry, we'll co-operate now 6) Wait, no we won't, get the hell out! 7) Ah, the Russians. You blokes can help us. Come in! 8) Actually come to think of it, bugger off... 9) Oh my, a tank. We'll be good. 10) Just kidding. We're joining NATO now
Since they left out the US I will try and think of some new threat levels for America. 1. Put heads in sand and act like nobody would possibly want to harm us. 2. Blame Bush and the Republicans (if Democrat) if Republican blame (fill in the blank) and the Democrats. 3.Call Britain and France and berate them for not helping (being sure to remind them how we saved their @sses in WW II) 4. Invade a small country 5. Create Congressional commissions to investigate and hold public hearings (which are televised by every media outlet on earth 24 hours a day) until the threat dissipates out of sheer boredom. Not as funny I'll admit but just off the top of my head
