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joke of the day..

Discussion in 'Free Fire Zone' started by sniper1946, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. Smiley 2.0

    Smiley 2.0 Smiles

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    Hehehehe :rofl:
     
  2. KodiakBeer

    KodiakBeer Member

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    The first woman says to the mortician, "I've got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I'd really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here's a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit."
    The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and the first woman leaves. Now the second woman comes in and says, "I know I've brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I've always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?"
    The mortician assures her that it's not a problem and the second woman thanks her and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man's funeral and his widow walks up and says, "Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him."
    The mortician replies, "Of course, I was happy to do it. And here's your check back."
    "No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need."
    "Oh no really, it didn't cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads."
     
  3. Smiley 2.0

    Smiley 2.0 Smiles

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    That really got me. hehehe
     
  4. Smiley 2.0

    Smiley 2.0 Smiles

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    These are some actual conversations between airline pilots and control towers
    Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
    Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
    Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
    Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?”
    Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war.”

    Control tower to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
    United 239: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
     
  5. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJVqj0Tjb4
     
  6. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAd3ALa--gg
     
  7. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ac9XE2Koxg
     
  8. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    My all time favorite Ozzie Comedy show. Agro.

    Caution! Heaps of foul languange!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPD_RHVFlys
     
  9. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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  10. Pacifist

    Pacifist Active Member

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  11. Smiley 2.0

    Smiley 2.0 Smiles

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    Right now with the crummy weather here in Kentucky, this is my worst nightmare

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDoEO6kSVEk
     
  12. KodiakBeer

    KodiakBeer Member

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    The way we handled that in Alaska was to start the car, turn the heater on full blast and then go back inside and have a steaming cup of coffee. Or bourbon.
     
  13. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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  14. TD-Tommy776

    TD-Tommy776 Man of Constant Sorrow

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  15. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF1SgpXXtok
     
  16. Bundesluftwaffe

    Bundesluftwaffe New Member

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  17. Bundesluftwaffe

    Bundesluftwaffe New Member

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    Ladies know everything (German):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDlr1iECcIM

    "nice" stewardess:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8obWJ2Ui-Y

    lol
     
  18. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    How German sounds compared to four other languages

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FXaB-F4pC0
     
  19. Smiley 2.0

    Smiley 2.0 Smiles

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  20. Fred Wilson

    Fred Wilson "The" Rogue of Rogues

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2nSRHbaEH0
     

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