joke of the day..

Hehehehe

 

The first woman says to the mortician, "I've got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I'd really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here's a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit."
The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and the first woman leaves. Now the second woman comes in and says, "I know I've brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I've always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?"
The mortician assures her that it's not a problem and the second woman thanks her and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man's funeral and his widow walks up and says, "Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him."
The mortician replies, "Of course, I was happy to do it. And here's your check back."
"No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need."
"Oh no really, it didn't cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads."

 

That really got me. hehehe

 

These are some actual conversations between airline pilots and control towers
Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war.”

Control tower to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 239: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJVqj0Tjb4

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAd3ALa--gg

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ac9XE2Koxg

 

My all time favorite Ozzie Comedy show. Agro.

Caution! Heaps of foul languange!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPD_RHVFlys

 

Check from 5:50 forward....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7HsgyNikXU

 

Why Army Officers Should Not Be Given Hand Grenades
http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/07/why-army-officers-should-not-be-given-hand-grenades/



Gamer Who Joined ISIL Has Terrible Kill-To-Death Ratio
http://www.duffelblog.com/2015/01/gamer-isis-syria-iraq/

 

Right now with the crummy weather here in Kentucky, this is my worst nightmare

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDoEO6kSVEk

 

The way we handled that in Alaska was to start the car, turn the heater on full blast and then go back inside and have a steaming cup of coffee. Or bourbon.

 

From College Humor: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPSGGjY1tWmMd8O2WiEjgYg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3RuGQluDXs

 

Set my clocks ahead last night. Reminded me of this:

View attachment 22185

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF1SgpXXtok

 

Hot chicks lol

I liked this one from college humour:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnngLD8JCuU

 

Ladies know everything (German):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDlr1iECcIM

"nice" stewardess:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8obWJ2Ui-Y

lol

 

How German sounds compared to four other languages

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FXaB-F4pC0

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHu_jUdp5Ek

I probably would have failed this too

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2nSRHbaEH0