SFC Matt Blaskowski

Happy Veteran's Day kid.

 

Here it is, kid. Into the winter. I've not gone home. I don't know. In a hotel right now, on a journey. Feel like sleeping on the floor...you should see my beard attempt. You'd laugh. I miss ALL the things.

 

Missed your birthday...you understand. I found a spot last week, out of a thicket and over a cliff and into nothing. It was like looking inside myself. The whole damn world behind me nothing out there in front of me. Talked with Miller today...he's ok. New legs, in college, in love. Happy times. I need a hair cut and I should shave but I feel manly. I'm hovering over the idea of going back home, but it's something out here. West of all my sadness...we went to Greasy Grass, I'm going to sleep over night there once. Hands down these are the worst days, brother. The worst days.

 

Thanks for honoring his memory Luke. Take care of yourself, Luke, you are doing good for your brother. He must be smiling down upon you. Wyoming / Montana - my favorite states, haven't been to AK yet. Rest in Peace, SFC Blaskowski.

 

Well Luke...You've succeeded in keeping him alive..All the best.

 

I've got it easy. I can just type away my feelings for the most part. Real world, that's the tough.

 

Florida hog hunt, kid. We hopped a plane and hit the beach and all. I didn't shave. Pasty white fat irish guy with a 4 month beard. It was amazing. Good eats, met some good guys that might come bird hunt in the fall. High times upon us now.

 

Well...it's back west, kid. All the promise of a thousand lives, all left not lived. Went home last week to see the kids, stopped up to see you. Still snowing there, which is stupid. Kids were gone...on vacation, which is funny in a way. I left you something...threw that grave blanket thing away...a buffalo pelt is better. Into the wind, brother.

 

I'm early kid, Memorial Day. I don't need one day for you. I may be going to Alaska, just like we talked about. I may go and stay. I don't know. I've turned native I think. Internet is no good, wanted to stop and say Hi when I could. I miss you.

 

Whatever you do...Stay safe.

 

Alaska. You wouldn't believe the story. I'm here, for now. Open ended ticket, probably should go back to the job. Thank you for that. All the things to see and do. The last frontier.

 

What a high adventure we've had kid. 173rd patches stuck to every damn thing I can find. Someday a hunter in the high country will be stumped. Ashes to ashes dust to dust.

 

All the things kid. Can't get my rhythm here. We are shooting a lot...I want to stay here for waterfowl but don't know. The pockets grow thinner every day but expenses are small. Spiraling life in fancy cloths. I miss you. I miss spring time on the ridges and fall in the valleys. I miss the smell of home and the feeling of content. Hope it's all as it should be.

 

It was fun while it lasted, kid. Smoke through rosy eyes. Home, for real home, again....for now. I feel out of place and edgy. My beard is freaking amazing and I like to give people the crazy eyes. Heartfelt lonely though. Soon back west...I think. It's been a long road and I'm tired. I came to see you...things are in order....someone took all the talismen away...so we begin anew. Eagle feathers...probably illegal. I don't know but things look right. Too poor to rub nickels for fear one will throw sparks. It is what it is.

 

ALL the internets here kid. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I have posted 60 damn times on a page that nobody reads but me. It helps but it doesn't. Spiraling out of control while fully aware whats happening. Spent 3 days out on the mountain...it was cold, but it was perfect. Should have excellent birds this year, I saw a few. I can't believe it's going to be 6 years next month. How is that even a possibility. You were so much the man I wanted to be, should have been. I've traveled thousands of miles to find myself, and now I'm and lost. Where to next? Nowhere. Everywhere. Work. Work first really...you don't even know. I think I'm getting on a boat. Fair winds and following seas. You're story is everywhere.

 

From another silent reader of this thread, I'll second what Biak said. It can't be said any better.

 

We do read Luke...I went to national Arbiturim here in UK last week...birthday surprise from the lady....Took a pic of a mates name engraved there...Lots of us feel same mate about someone of recent times...Keep posting.

 

I appreciate the kind words, guys. It means a lot to me. I have my days, as evident by the thread. It helps to get things out and nobody to really talk to about it...some folks move on....some don't. It's been a hell of an adventure recently. We shall see where the winds takes me next. Rest assured, 173 patches will be abound.