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Some jokes and some funny pics...

Discussion in 'Free Fire Zone' started by Kai-Petri, Dec 4, 2002.

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  1. Joe

    Joe Ace

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    And another

    "The art of Good Breakfasts" by Chris P. Bacon

    I have a really good joke book somewhere, but I can't find it!
     
    Joe, Jul 9, 2007
    #541
  2. Erich

    Erich Alte Hase

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    I can hardly wait for the 2008 elections and what comes of it..........snot nosed imbaciles it should be louds of fun
     
    Erich, Jul 9, 2007
    #542
  3. Slipdigit

    Slipdigit Good Ol' Boy Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

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    In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
    Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar that had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day. The young cowboy took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Would you give me some tips?" he asked.
    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
    "Sure will," said the old-timer.
    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
    "That's terrific!" said the cowboy. "Got any more tips for me?"
    "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
    "You bet it will," said the old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy. "I'm learning' somethin' here. Got
    any more tips?"
    The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
    The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
    "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
    "No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's going to shove that gun up your butt and it won't hurt nearly as much."
     
    Slipdigit, Jul 9, 2007
    #543
  4. Za Rodinu

    Za Rodinu Aquila non capit muscas

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    Holy smoke, I'm still gagging at this one :D :clap: :rofl:
     
    Za Rodinu, Jul 9, 2007
    #544
  5. Joe

    Joe Ace

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    Here's one.

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    It was dead.
    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
    It was holding hands with the first monkey.
    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
    He thought it was a game.
    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
    Peer pressure.
    Why did the Elephant fall out of the tree?
    It thought it was a monkey.
    Why did the lion die?
    Four monkeys and an Elephant fell on top of it.
     
    Joe, Jul 11, 2007
    #545
  6. FramerT

    FramerT Ace

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    [​IMG]
     
    FramerT, Jul 13, 2007
    #546
  7. Slipdigit

    Slipdigit Good Ol' Boy Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

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    take a hammer and beat the barrel straight and they're good to go.
     
    Slipdigit, Jul 13, 2007
    #547
  8. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

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    [​IMG]
     
    Sloniksp, Jul 13, 2007
    #548
  9. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    Patient bleeds dark green blood

    A team of Canadian surgeons got a shock when the patient they were operating on began shedding dark greenish-black blood, the Lancet reports.
    The man emulated Star Trek's Mr Spock - the Enterprise's science officer who supposedly had green Vulcan blood.

    In this case, the unusual colour of the 42-year-old's blood was down to the migraine medication he was taking.

    The man's leg surgery went ahead successfully and his blood returned to normal once he had eased off the drug.

    BBC NEWS | Health | Patient bleeds dark green blood
     
    Kai-Petri, Jul 16, 2007
    #549
  10. Za Rodinu

    Za Rodinu Aquila non capit muscas

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    Dark green blood? Do you mean chlorophile instead of hemoglobin?
     
    Za Rodinu, Jul 16, 2007
    #550
  11. Erich

    Erich Alte Hase

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    Slon I'm sure glad the chap taking the pic or placing flowers - hard to see, was not wearing non-regulation g-string spandex

    time for a pump ......... [​IMG]
     
    Erich, Jul 16, 2007
    #551
  12. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

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    :D :D
     
    Sloniksp, Jul 16, 2007
    #552
  13. FramerT

    FramerT Ace

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    [​IMG]
     
    FramerT, Jul 17, 2007
    #553
  14. FramerT

    FramerT Ace

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    [​IMG]
     
    FramerT, Jul 17, 2007
    #554
  15. Erich

    Erich Alte Hase

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    Temporary ? how about permanent ??
     
    Erich, Jul 17, 2007
    #555
  16. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

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    You hit right on the head Erich!! One has to see the irony in the name of that boat......
     
    Sloniksp, Jul 17, 2007
    #556
  17. Trouble

    Trouble Otto's #1

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    What does the teacher at a human bomb class at an Afghanistan terrorist school tell his students?

    [​IMG]
     
    Trouble, Jul 18, 2007
    #557
  18. Trouble

    Trouble Otto's #1

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    This is why you shouldn't teach boys to pee on targets!

    [​IMG]
     
    Trouble, Jul 18, 2007
    #558
  19. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

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    :D :D The one with the boy is priceless!!
     
    Sloniksp, Jul 18, 2007
    #559
  20. Joe

    Joe Ace

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    WATSON-but we still don't know how to get into the villain's hideout...
    HOLMES-I think you will find the way in is through a yellow door.
    WATSON-Brilliant! how did you know that?
    HOLMES-A lemon Entry, my dear Watson!
     
    Joe, Jul 20, 2007
    #560
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