Some jokes and some funny pics...

JCF reminded me of a good joke when he was commenting on the "tooth fairy" a’la the thread on the fictional Vril.

Here goes; This father took his eleven year-old son aside, and announced he was sure it was about time he told him about the ‘birds and the bees’. The kid panics, shakes his head and screams out NO! I don’t want to hear!

When I was six you told me there was no Easter Bunny, when I was eight you told me there was no Tooth Fairy, last year you sprung the REALLY THERE IS NO SANTA on me. Now if you are going to tell me grown-ups don’t get laid I’ll have nothing to live for!

 

I had a great laugh over hearing a conversation in my local car park while I was waiting, these Irish women were saying F this and F that. In total about a good 50 odd times before the punch line.

"See you at mass and confession Sunday."

 

YouTube - This Is Sparta! ~Another Techno Remix~

 

Loved the Paul Hogan show...ehhh... that was a while back....

YouTube - The Paul Hogan Show - Alternative Olympics (Aussie Games)

 

Who said George W was slow? Not necessarily....

YouTube - George Bush Dodges Shoe

 

....and with lightning reflexes to boot.

 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

 

Well, of course....

Flash Games Development - Glasgow Scotland - bushbootcamp

 

SYDNEY, Australia -- To surf the Internet or to have sex, that is the question and the answer may well depend on your gender ... well, if you live in Australia, that is.

The Sydney Morning Herald recently conducted an online research poll to which they actually gave a name: Internet Reliance in Today's Economy. Adult Australians - 2, 119 of them - responded to the poll providing some interesting results. For example, 46% of Aussie women said they would rather go without sex for two weeks than give up access to the Internet for the same period of time. Only 30% of Aussie males said they would do without sex for on-line relationships.

A whopping 95% of those responding to the survey rated access to the Internet as very important, important or somewhat important. Sixty-five per cent rated Internet access more important than other discretionary spending items, such as cable television subscriptions (39%), dining out (20%), shopping for clothes (18%) or a health club membership (10%).

Among women, 61% said they would rather give up watching television for two weeks than give up access to the Internet for one week.

 

Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend is overweight?
A. She starts fitting your wife's clothes!

 

That pic is awesome, Za....

 

The Tennis player is extremelly cute is it Dockic or whatever her name was??


Cheers...

 

more from the "and then the fight started"........

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...



My wife asked me if a certain dress made her behind look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

And then the fight started.....

 

cyanide & happiness amusing as hell



Cheers...

 

Speaking of, here's one for you.....

I was in a car accident this morning and when the occupant of the other vehicle got out, he was a dwarf. He walked over to me with great haste, looked up and pointed at me and said, "I'm not happy!"... I said, "So, which one are you then?"

And then the fight started...

 

Here's amother one then Miguel...

 

Ok then Za, how do you like this?